free coffee on your birthday

So it’s my girlfriend’s birthday tomorrow and in conversation today I mentioned to her that Denny’s gives you a free meal if it’s your birthday and Starbucks gives you a free drink. Without missing a beat she said, “too bad you can’t create enough accounts on their website to drink for free all year”. Slightly evil, perhaps, but definitely brilliance at work.

Since I’m also a project manager, I started thinking about the logistics behind this free-Starbucks-for-life plan and it seems to be easy enough as implemented below:

  1. You’d probably start off by registering a dedicated domain name to track all the email forward permutations that you’ll need to pull this off.
  2. Next, register a free email mailbox somewhere like Gmail perhaps.
  3. Create a spreadsheet where you track the 365 different email identities/profiles which you would then use at Starbucks, for example.
  4. Back at the domain name registrar, setup email with a catch-all email forward which forwards to that single Gmail account.

Throughout the next year you’d then visit different Starbucks stores and snag several blank Starbucks cards (without putting any money on them). Feel free to put money on one of the cards if you’d like—I’d suggest going with the minimum here.

Back home on the Internet (or even in the store on your portable device), register a new card on their website, issuing the first profile/email address from your spreadsheet and entering the card’s number into your spreadsheet for tracking purposes. If you have a magic marker, then it might be useful to mark the card in some discreet way to more easily identify it from the rest.

The important part is to enter a sequentially-unique month + day combination for this card’s birthday information.

All inbound notification emails for any particular account from Starbucks would then land in that single email mailbox for later processing, if required. An email rule or two should prevent the average advertising attempts to land in a separate folder, perhaps, so that they don’t clutter the more important ones.

The Result?

Starbucks for life.

Each week, you’d pull several cards from your collection, the ones which correspond to the upcoming week’s “birthdays”. Walk in with the right card each day and pretend to be pleasantly surprised when you’re awarded your free drink.

If you’re an actor, feel free to really get into each character you’ve created.  For your Jacque Duboisson profile, you could fake a French accent, say. And then you’ve got Giovanni Bere, Hans Getränk, Juan Beber to name a few.

Evil Is As Evil Does

Should you do this? It’s probably too much trouble, honestly. But I would do something like this for Wells Fargo or US Bank or Chase Bank because they’re all evil themselves. Every day of the year they illegally charge people a $7.50 or even greater service fee for simply cashing a check locally issued from their own bank. I personally have a great stack of the receipts from them in which I was yet again charged this transaction fee for simply cashing a local check from their own branch.

“In form, a check is an order to the drawee bank to pay the face amount of the check to the payee.” ~ Justice Buford, U.S. Bankruptcy Court

So when the issuing bank imposes a fee to cash a check, this is by definition illegal since the check itself is a promise to pay the full amount indicated rather than a fraction of same.

It’s too bad that banks don’t get their karma handed back to them in some sort of Despicable Me plan like this.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s